2 years in 1

What a year this has been...I literally experienced 2 different realities in 1 year. The year 2024 will forever been remembered in my heart as the year I finally let go of the old. The last straw, the last glimpse connecting me from my past as been released; let me explain.

I started 2024 full of hope, joy and peace. The first half of the year I was ridding the wave of life, being fulfilled and content with my day to day. I created new friendships, went on long walks, created new habits and connected to myself... the future finally seemed sunny and bright.

Then May arrived, the month of my birthday. A message from a long lost love came through, a simple happy birthday turned into a mea culpa declaration (on his part) and feelings of love started to resubmerge. Since everything was going so well in my life, I thought, this is it, after all these years searching for love, he's been the one all this time. I finally manifested a great love and how ironic is it that it's with the same man that broke my heart 10 years earlier and if I'm being honest with myself, never forgot. I finally got my beautiful love story!

Ohh was I wrong!

The first month was great! The love bombing was out of this world, he had really stepped up his game. But then the first disagreement occured and it was a slow downhill from there. Add his unresolved traumas to the mix (that he hid so well at first) and we had the perfect cocktail for a disaster. I hold on for deal life, I couldn't phantom the idea that this would be another failed attempt at a relationship. But all the signs were there, God was screaming at me to run and that this is not the man I have for you. It took me slowly losing myself, crying myself to sleep and stopping those habits that made me feel good to finally accept that I could no longer be with this man. In a mere 4 months, I was losing what I worked so hard to achieve: loving myself unconditionally.

It's simple, if loving someone makes you love yourself less; then that person is not for you. Love is joyful, peaceful, consistent, reassuring and secure. If the opposite occurs, run! Run because it is 100% better to be alone than with someone that makes you feel alone.

And so I ended it! I let go of my crutch and that familiar feeling.... the feeling that kept me stuck in relationships and situations where I wasn't being seen and loved the way I knew deep down I could and wanted. The feeling of being scared of the unknown and "what if nothing better comes along".

I looked up to God and surrendered. Surrendered to the unknown, to the new opportunities, to a new feeling. I am finally letting myself receive the abundance that I deserve and know within my heart I can receive. I realized that if I don't open my hand and let go of the grip I have on my past, then I don't give God the opportunity to put a different scenario and object in my hands.

Since the breakup I've slowly been returning to myself and everyday that passes, I live more in accordance to who I truly am. By living this way, we are in a position to make all our desires become reality... and that even includes making the man God has for me magically appear on my path. ;)

Let's make 2025 a year in which we live in full conciousness of our potential, where we live from a place of love and gratitude and the certainty that all our dreams can come true.... if we just surrounder and let God do it's magic!